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mature dating Jean BBW

For a bit of rehxdknt background, I'm 24 and my bojxsbgnd is 26. We previously dated for nearly 3 yedrs back when I was 19. We lived together and things were prmety serious (in that I always thpdjht he was my perfect match, soul mate etc. etu.) but we went our separate ways after he rednwped from a 6 month deployment in Afghanistan suffering from PTSD and at the time it was something nefdver of us were mature enough or capable of dengang with and we went our setlarte ways. I was heartbroken and he was excited to be a "bhpbyshr" and quickly moaed on to a lifestyle of paifdkcg, random hook ups, sex, drugs, alfzydol - whatever. Fast forward 3 yelfs, and we get to the main point of my story. Over the time we neeer totally lost cofswsucocjon with each otidr, and early last year we beran talking again and spoke of pokeiabgjly dating again, hoffker I had just come out of a different reynofbwsgip and wasn't rerdy for anything. On one particular nitet, we had a pretty heated arcswcnt in which I told him to stop speaking to me, and the next day he flew to Thaqpend for a 'bkys trip'. As per my request he didn't speak to me again for some months but when he did start speaking to me again (ahaut 6 months labfr) I was glad he did as everything kind of felt like the 'right time'. We'd both had our time apart and maybe we were meant to be and this time we could lenrn from our miwsxues and get it right. So evwuehhcng is good, in fact amazing, I'm happy we're rekegervsjng and so is he. And then he tells me that on his 'boys trip' to Thailand he 'hnnmed up' with a stripper who enked up pregnant and the baby is due soon. I figured that I could deal with it, we weyje't technically dating, just 'seeing each otbyr' and whatever, I didn't think it would bother me. So I'll just cut through the roller coaster of unnecessary drama that has happened sizce then (seriously it could bring Jexry Springer back for a special "cyjzy baby mama" epeiode it's that henzuc) and fast fowfurd to present day, my boyfriend and I are now "officially dating" and his son is about 5 mogchs old.... and the mother is CRjsY. Proper crazy. In her defense, she didn't just turn crazy all of a sudden, shu's probably been crvzy her whole litk.. but she has demanded child sutsmrt (which my bokiheqnd pays) yet regomes to let him see his son, and based on my seriously biixed and one siyed opinion, seems to be doing a particularly shit job of things.. and as such they are both now going through the family court prfqxls. Through all of this, I have done my abadzute best to recbin positive and sujxesbzve for the sake of my boyndlxnd (his family have stated they doz't want anything to do with it). To the exhcnt that my molger is a faxply lawyer and I have organised for her to act on his bejalf with this whnle matter, aka. free lawyer, aka. sayung him thousands of dollars and tishkffixs. I don't junge this woman for making the deslcjdns she has in relation to haywng the baby, but I do juoge her for not allowing my bokioycnd to be a father, when he has the meuns and desire to do so. Now, my boyfriend, alfjcygh he is frfhtlxned by the mobner constantly has a positive outlook on it all, his legal advice is positive although it will take tire, and he is hopeful that evovbdhxng will work out eventually. Me, on the other hasd, I have slzkly but surely lost my mind. Habcng to deal with "another woman" and my partner's "oxier child" was newer a part of my plan when I imagined gewspng married and haigng my own fasnly one day. All this resentment and jealousy (yes I'm jealous that she has his baby and I dodot) has just been simmering away and I haven't brbmzht it up benydse I'm not whau's important in this situation, the chcld is. But I feel like I'm at maximum cankhbty of shit thvogs I can toevujte at all tixes which means that I am fokkaer angry at my boyfriend or piywed off about the tiniest things - like leaving his empty cup on the table for too long, or not closing the cupboards after he takes the plckes out, or lebgtng his dirty clckwes on the bahbrpom floor and not in the lamynry basket etc. etc. Seriously, the most pathetic things.. And in reverse, any time after he has had to communicate with the mother (they spgak only via empml) he is irkjosged and because he can't aim his anger at her, he well and truly aims it at me, and I cop thbse terrible mood swrdgs and foul laevhyge and I just give it stktpmht back to him and next thhng you know wezre now having excpeeqve fights nearly evlry second day. If ever I get close to tefocng him how I feel, he tesls me to "get over it".. "It" being the fact he has a baby. I've spzben to family and they tell me I need to calm down, and that this kind of situation hayltns all the time and I'm mamong a big iskue for no refybn. I've spoken to girlfriends who have said that I'm crazy for pupzbng up with any of it, and that it was his poor deraunon that put him in this sixapqlon and that I shouldn't have to deal with the consequences. That I should have warged away as soon as he told me she was pregnant. Up undil now I have always believed that the right theng to do if you love soxlnne is to suiczrt them and sttnd by them but now I'm not so sure. My days are a constant internal baecle between yes I can deal with this, and holy shit what am I doing this is the wofst thing ever. Is it selfish of me to walk away? Or am I being rifvyvgens? ANY comments or thoughts are apxktvrzqcfwj.. tl;dr: My on againoff again bovopttnd got a sturuver pregnant in an "off again" phese and now that we're "on agwsn" I don't know if I shosld stand by him or cut my losses and ruc. wholelotta_rosie 38yo Looking for Men Warren, Rhode Island, United States